I'm Grinching Hard on Shopping for Teenagers - I Mean, Even Santa Can't Like That Shopping Trip

6:46 AM

Right, so we've clocked out the first week of December and tick-tock, here we go. It's Christmas time, fools!



Christmas shopping -- my biggest struggle -- that may be an imprecise exaggeration, but it is totally hard. Namely, the precious little girls in my life, who used to love Hannah Montana and sparkly nail polish are now all about that bass and woman crush wednesday-ing. So, right -- this is tough, because I'm pretty much into neither of those things and I'm really trying to just get my head in the game to make some magic happen.

My wishlist, on the other hand, is simple:
1.) Look like a Kardashian.Or a Jenner. Actually, just look like Kendall Jenner. Or Megan Fox. Dealer's choice.
2.) Get more sleep and eat more macaroni.
3.) A new Lana Del Ray album in 2015, with like, at least 17 songs on it.

Easy peasy, am I right?

Well anyway, today is my first venture into navigating what to buy for a handful of nieces and nephews who have suddenly all become teenagers, and whom I still want to knock the socks off of with some "Santa is so real yuu-guyz" magic. If all else fails, I'm painting cash with glitter glue to jazz it up a little and at least make myself feel better about the whole thing.

***

Kid's Week on Jeopardy was a success. Ryan and I were both able to score into the double digits on most of the days. However, we are officially NOT smarter than a fifth-grader. Or a fourth-grader, whichever. Those punks blew us out of the water on every episode. I'm only slightly embarrassed because the Bill of Rights isn't quite as fresh in my mind. And that's my excuse -- whatever.

Unrelated -- but do you ever feel like a loser when people ask you what you're doing over the weekend and the only answer you have is basically, "nothing"?

Maybe not. Maybe you do stuff on your weekend. But every Friday, I work really hard to make things like laundry and cleaning my baseboards sound really jazzy and interesting. Because that's usually my plan. In any case, I realized last night that there aren't any Kelseys or Emilys here, so I'm going to have to do the dirty work and seek some Someone Elses out. Somehow, when I made this transition that felt pretty big, and moved and took a new job, I didn't anticipate that my transition would include building a new life here and making new friends.

Um. Duh. But you know, hindsight is 20-20.

Right now, I sound like a very sad human being. That is not true. I'm just, you know, transitioning blindly and learning. 

When I was a senior in high school and all kinds of brand new on the first day, I just sort of stumbled into Kelsey, who is like, the friendliest person alive. She gave me half her cookie and invited me to a college party. Boom,friendship.

I guess I'm suggesting that I need to just seek someone out who will share their cookies and booze, and friendship should just naturally follow. Right?

Anyway -- new life building. It's coming along.

***

Okay, so I'm going to wrap this up with this: if you're Ryan and you're wondering what to get me for Christmas, I want a plaid scarf.

Cool, thanks.

Happy Saturday!

Also, because I can't get bored of these outtakes:






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