Lent - This Year is "The Facebook"

4:12 PM

As you probably know -- because we're probably related (who else reads this thing?!) -- I'm a Lent participator. There's just something really damn motivating about giving something up --- for Jesus. I mean, it's a promise you can't go backwards on, because you know, Book of Life and hellacious lakes of fire. That'll keep you on track if you believe in that sort of thing.

So, last year I gave up candy and it was a long 40 days. I literally dreamed about Peeps. No, seriously -- I dreamed about them and woke up in a blind panic and then moderate disappointment that I hadn't actually indulged. Anyway, I proceeded to put myself into a self-induced diabetic coma on Easter, because Lent was over and Cadbury Eggs were plentiful. It's like it was planned that way.

I'm getting carried away with the details, but basically I gave up Facebook for Lent this year. I ruminated on that for a hot minute and finally went with social media because I thought -- think of all the time I'll have to spend on other things!

I thought I'd be productive, but mostly I just play more Candy Crush.

But wait! Here I am, writing a post on a Wednesday. So success, right?!

Anyway,I've learned a moderately valuable lesson. I love, and may nurture an unhealthy relationship with Facebook. I know, because I miss it so damn much. Also, my grandmother called me because she was worried that I was dead.

"You haven't been on the Facebook lately. I thought you were sick or something." 

Yeah, the Facebook. I'm there so much, it's directly indicative of my health and nutrition. Yikes-bikes (that's for you, Emily V.).

So, this is valuable because I'm officially a week in and if there were a patch that I could wear on my arm that would make my craving for the Facebook go away, I'd do it. Somebody could be having a baby or getting married or posting hilarious drunk things that will disappear before I come back in April, and I'm missing it all. Probably more importantly, family members could be thinking I'm dead!

Brief and final intermission: I recognize that I'm so first world and even my problems are sub-par and stupid.

***

It's really not that big of a deal,  but I'll be upfront with it: I really like social media. Like, a lot. And I also like knowing when people get knocked up or do interesting things.

I guess what I'm trying to say is : everyone please switch to Instagram for this Lenten season. I'm begging you. 

***

PS - I can share this to FB without actually going to FB, so I'm not actually cheating. Just FYI. Also, I'm expecting this when I come back :



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